


[Coming Spring 2015] All I Wanted

by Meadow_Wanderer



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fights, Hurt/Comfort, Illness, M/M, Sex, Sexuality, Virgin Niall, Virginity, can't understand choices made, terminal illness, waiting till marriage
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-29
Updated: 2013-12-29
Packaged: 2018-01-04 10:33:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1079965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meadow_Wanderer/pseuds/Meadow_Wanderer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"My name is Niall Horan...and I'm a virgin."</p><p>Virgin....</p><p>Something looked down upon. Too innocent, naive, prudish, dumb, pathetic, and any other adjectives you might wanna throw in there with whatever the world associates with the word "virgin". </p><p>Sex is a big part of today's society/media/entertainment/etc. People are willing to have sex just to loose a title that's looked down upon. People are willing to bear there souls to some random person just to say they've done it. </p><p>But I can't do that and I won't.</p><p>Because I want something more. </p><p>Something with love that would mean anything and everything. </p><p>Something that no one night stands nor multiple rounds of sex with people whose names I may or may not even know would ever satisfy.  </p><p>I want it with love, the kind where I would give everything of myself to one person on our wedding night and I would have no regrets or sorrows for choosing to wait for that one person. Call me old-fashioned or any adjective, I don't care. I'm not ashamed for wanting it with love.</p><p>But the sad part is that if I don't find that kind of love soon, then I might never get to.</p><p>Because I'm sick and nobody knows.</p><p>Not even me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	[Coming Spring 2015] All I Wanted

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So this story I think connects kinda personally with me because its kinda how I feel sometimes, waiting for love. I thought I would take the chance to write this story because I saw someone write a story about niall being asexual and saw how some readers commented that they really connected with it so I wrote this in hope that someone connects with it like that. 
> 
> Everyone has the choice to wait or not, neither decision makes you better or lesser than the other one. Whatever you decide, good for you and don't let anyone put you down! 
> 
> So I hope you enjoy and I feel like this is gonna be an emotional roller coaster for me because of how invested I feel the writing is gonna get since its kinda personal. Buckle up and hang on tight lol! :')
> 
> I want to say that I do not own any of the boys nor the band nor even know any of these people. This story is purely fiction with a little hint of personal ideas. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
> ****P.S. I put the main story relationship between either Narry or Ziall but I can't decide right now so I decide later in the coming months*****

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The only thing we never get enough of is love; and the only thing we never give enough of is love."~Henry Miller

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So this story I think connects kinda personally with me because its kinda how I feel sometimes, waiting for love. I thought I would take the chance to write this story because I saw someone write a story about niall being asexual and saw how some readers commented that they really connected with it so I wrote this in hope that someone connects with it like that. 
> 
> Everyone has the choice to wait or not, neither decision makes you better or lesser than the other one. Whatever you decide, good for you and don't let anyone put you down!
> 
> So I hope you enjoy and I feel like this is gonna be an emotional roller coaster for me because of how invested I feel the writing is gonna get since its kinda personal. Buckle up and hang on tight lol! :')
> 
>  
> 
> So thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy. <3

_"Love is patient."- 1 Corinthians 13:4_ **  
**

 

When I was three, I thought love was simple.

Love was when my mum kissed my boo boos when I fell down. Love was when my da would lift me high in the sky so I could fly like superman. Love was when my big brother took me on all of his big adventures. Love was when my da kissed my mum, even if she had cooties.  

 

When I was six, I thought love was a little more complicated.

Love was when my parents were smiling and cheering side by side at my birthday party as I blew out my candles, even after being divorced for two years. Love was when my brother didn't get mad that I took his chocolate chip cookie from his lunch bag each day, even though I'm sure he knew I did it. Love was when this boy named Sean started playing in the sandbox at school with me, even though most kids didn't want to play with someone who was as small as I was.

 

When I was twelve, I thought love was exciting.

Love was when my mum and da would smile at me when I would sing and play guitar during our big family Christmas party. Love was when Greg would take time to play Football in the backyard with me on Sundays, even when I'm sure his popular friends wanted him to go out. Love was when my best friend Sean would invite me to sleepover almost every weekend so we could stay up late at night eating junk food and pretending to play superheroes. Love was when this cute boy in Mrs. McFiellen's class would look over at me with his blue eyes and causing us both to blush and look away.    

 

When I was sixteen, I thought love was nerve racking.

Love was when the X-factor audience cheered for me as I got through to the next round. Love was when my parents, Greg, Sean, and all my other friends hugged me tight backstage with big smiles that matched my own. Love was when four other guys, my new bandmates, shouted with joy with tears in their eyes as they pulled me into a big group hug, celebrating that Simon Cowell had put us through to the live shows. Love was when fans mobbed us for the first time, defiantly sending my claustrophobia into overdrive, but nonetheless made us feel supported.

 

And now, at nineteen, I think love was all I wanted.

Love was the feeling in my heart I got as I gazed at my four best friends who had been with me since our band's beginning. Love was when the crowds screamed in excitement as we sang song after song during crazy concerts. Love was when I got to hear my mum's voice over the phone every month, making me feel like I'm back at home, even for just a moment. Love was when I got my baby nephew Theo to smile and giggle as I bounced him up and down like my da had done to me when I was a baby. Love was when my brother kissed his wife's cheek every morning when I visited them, his whispered "you're beautiful" ringing silently in the room. Love was when my da hugged me tight as we cheered at the game when Ireland scored, making the day spent together awesome.

Love was always in my life, always apart of everything I did. So why would I want sex to be anything different? I'm waiting to do it with love, to give my whole self with love to one person. It's tough, no doubt the journey filled with pressure and judgement, but in the end I know it will be worth it. I'm willing to wait, no matter how long it takes. I mean, I thought I had all the time in the world.

But sometimes, in the midst of living life, we forget that time waits for no one. 

 _And I didn't even know that I was running out of time._  


End file.
